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US police are searching for a man who randomly poos on parked cars

Oh dear.

WELL, WE’VE HEARD absolutely everything now.

Police in the city of Akron, Ohio are currently searching for a man who wanders the streets at night, pooing on and inside parked cars.

smileypoop

According to Cleveland.com, he has defecated on at least 19 cars, sometimes smearing excrement on the door handles (low blow).

In cases when the cars have been unlocked, he’s gone ahead and pooped right on the car seat.

On Tuesday he was caught in the act by a local resident, who quickly snapped a photo of him pooing on the hood of a car:

pooper Akron Police Akron Police

Cops are now trying to identify him from the photograph.

Police reports quoted on Cleveland.com say that only nine of the poopings were reported to the police, with one amusingly noting:

The excrement did not cause any damage to the car, but it did cause a big mess.

You don’t say, guys. You don’t say.

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Author
Valerie Loftus
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